Managing meltdowns
written by Kristin Portillo, certified parent coach
In moments where your child’s emotions are on fire your main task is to stay calm and manage your own emotions. It’s totally normal to feel intense anger and frustration at your child. Since most of us did not get a parenting 101 course before parenthood, you may have been blindsided by how your little one’s emotional uproars trigger your own stress, anxiety, or urge to yell. You are not alone. A toddler’s meltdown could bring a CEO of a top 500 company to his/her breaking point. Remind yourself that when your child was born, so too was your role as a parent. Give yourself grace as you navigate and learn to manage the emotions your child’s behaviors can elicit.
When the $%&@ hits the fan (hopefully not literally), be your own cheerleader. Give yourself permission to take a break before reacting. The payoff for staying calm and managing your emotions when your toddler is screaming and throwing a fit is HUGE. You are setting them up for a lifetime of positive emotional health. How? First, in the moment you are helping them return to calm by not adding to the chaos. They can de-escalate much quicker when you remain relaxed. Your own deep breaths, naming your feelings, and/or using self-soothing techniques models healthy coping and sends the message that they are safe in the moment, their feelings are manageable. Child psychologists call this co-regulation and it is the way children develop their own self-regulation skills.
