Why Is My Child Showing Mean Behavior?

Perhaps some of your child's behaviors have shocked you. Has the thought  “I’m raising a little monster” come across your mind? Let’s go over some child development science for starters so you can see what is behind some of their shocking behaviors and resistance to sharing.  

Around 4-5 years of age a child will start to develop cooperative play with others, but it's still in it's infancy. Sharing will still be a struggle at 4-5 years old due to a limited understanding of empathy and minimal impulse control. At this age modeling appropriate behavior repeatedly is extremely important and helpful. Also, providing a safe, secure, and loving environment allows for kindness and empathy to flourish. There is a lot of research about how a baby’s attachment with it’s caregivers is a predictor of empathy and compassion later in life.  

Secondly, the ability to understand another's feelings or see that another has differing feelings and wants is not something that comes naturally to a child. It is not until around 6-7 years of age that the brain starts developing these abilities.  We are born hardwired with the capacity for empathy, but it's development requires experience, practice, and a more sophisticated reasoning ability. From about 0- 7 years old children are living out of the emotional center of their brains as their prefrontal cortex (the reasoning/logic center of the brain) is very underdeveloped.